I counseled with a young woman one day who was mentally and emotionally frazzled about a decision she needed to make. She was an intelligent woman, highly accomplished, who was perfectly capable of coming to a decision. So it struck me as odd that, despite having all the information she needed to commit to a direction, she stalled.
After questioning her further regarding her inability to commit to a path, I discovered a very different issue at play. She uttered three phrases that clearly spelled out not only the root of her problem, but the root problem of so many who find themselves stuck in "the valley of decision".
"My mom feels like I should..."
"My dad wants me to..."
"My boyfriend can't seem to understand why I just don't..."
The reason this woman couldn't make a decision, had little to do with her not knowing clearly what she wanted to do;
but everything to do with the fact that her mind was so cluttered with what others wanted for her, that she couldn't (or wouldn't) decide on what she wanted for herself.
She was not able to make a decision that catered to her own needs, because she was still trying to appease the desires of those around her. This left her stuck in the valley of decision--
Are you in this valley now?
Are the opinions of those around you so loud, that you can't hear your own mind clearly to make a decision? Have the desires and expectations of family, friends or society, suffocated you from "tuning in" to what this present YOU needs?
You must create a mental SPACE in order to make important decisions that honor your values. You must have the courage to throw out the expectations, desires, and beliefs of those around you, in order to find out what is truly important for you.
How do we create space to think?
If you're stuck, make the courageous choice in this moment, to release yourself from the grip of the opinions of others, and watch a space of mental freedom and discovey open up for you.
This blog is intended to provide supportive counsel, to hurting women, women in ministry, and pastor's wives.
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